Norf By Northwest

Wednesday night, I experienced another adventure in DC City Driving. My one goal was to just get up to Gina's house from work, normally a 45-or-so minute drive that mainly consists of a jaunt up Connecticut Avenue. After Joe's wedding last weekend, we hadn't had a chance to see each other, and I was bound and determined to get there. So naturally, I had to leave work a little later than usual, and naturally there was backup as a result of a large wreck when I'd only gotten as far as Woodley Park.

I was completely stuck. I hadn't noticed the warning sign that had been posted until I was part of the doomed span of traffic that had nowhere to turn off before the accident zone. Not one to be foiled by such a lousy turn of events, I fumbled around in the backseat for my trusty DC Metro Map and got creative. The warning sign was diverting people to Wisconsin Avenue, so I thought I might try reverse psychology and just try to get far enough north to be past the accident and return to Connecticut a free man. With the Beatles' Abbey Road blaring in my CD player, I pulled an emergency U-turn right in place and began my journey.

I'm pretty sure I saw Polythene Pam once or twice as I was crawling through Northwest DC side streets at a snail's pace, but I'm certain I saw some nice houses and neighborhoods through Cleveland Park and beyond. Not that I'd ever be able to afford them, and not that I want to live in the city. And I detest driving in it. And there's a lot of crime. Still, it was a change of scenery, though not a welcome one.

At any rate, I had to change my plan about 40 different times as I came upon dead-ends, unexpectedly closed roads, and congestion from cars wandering aimlessly without the help of a map similar to my hawesome one. To make the final turn that led to freedom, I had to hop a bit of curb because some VW Beetle (ironic, no?) had gotten too optimistic and was stuck in the middle of a bizarre 5-way intersection. All in all, though, I escaped back onto Connecticut with minimal damage done and my stress levels rapidly returning back to normal, and with the turns I took being equal to the turns I made. I pulled onto Gina's street an hour and forty-five minutes after leaving work. By the time I saw her, none of that mattered so much.