Back In The Garden State

I knew it was going to be a bad day when the bird pooped on my car while I was stuck in gridlocked DC traffic. Forgive me for being graphic, but when you've had a bad commute already, it's just a giant slap in the face to watch avian poo collect on your driver's side window.

Things just got weirder from there.

Take, for instance, the fact that I'm now in New Jersey on a business trip. On the upside, I'll be coming home a day earlier. On the other upside, the crazy New Jersey roads didn't confound me this time! I was ready for their jug-handles and upside-down U-turns and Sarlaac pit monsters. Also, since I'm not here in December, there was enough daylight left for us to negotiate the main road in front of our hotel. It lasted long enough for us to scope out several (and I mean dozens) Dunkin' Donuts and a Chili's, where we ended up eating.

I think our hotel is in the middle of mutating from a Radisson to a Marriott, though, because there are random empty rooms and missing furniture everywhere. As I was walking down my hallway, I saw a random room stripped of all furniture except for a single conference room table. The armoire in the corner had packing tape all over it. There are mysterious signs everywhere, stating in overly ornate font that "YOU'RE STANDING ON THE VERGE OF SOMETHING EXCITING!" The next time we're here - in two weeks - this place may be completely unrecognizable, like a child TV star who hits a growth spurt between seasons, or Daniel Radcliffe in the next Harry Potter movie.

Before the hallways start shapeshifting anymore, I'm going to try to find the gym in this place. Wish me luck.