Out Of The Frying Pan

I was walking back from taking my last quiz of the week this afternoon, and I saw that, somehow, one of the tops of the numerous lampposts that populate campus had been completely knocked off. It was in front of the University Club, and the lamppost, now hatless, looked fragile and skinny.

I stopped to examine the broken globe a little closer. A shard was missing from it; shattered on impact, I guessed. I kicked it lightly with my shoe, confirming my suspicion that it was just plastic, which makes sense, considering the possiblity of lawsuits from drunken college kids that cause the globes to fall on their heads.

The kleptomaniac in me wanted to stuff it under my shirt, or perhaps on my head, and take it the remaining block home with me. But, I figured I probably wouldn't get away with that, and I don't even have any lamps that it could fit over. My mind wandered to the possible culprits, and the only two possibilities that stuck with me were a.) drunk college kids who were looking to file a lawsuit for a broken head, and b.) outrageous drunken war squirrels who are sick and tired of lampposts bashing in on their territory. I think you know which one I truly believe, and I think you know which one the media would try to use to cover up the truth.

So look out, boys and girls, on your next trip through campus. It's war out there - and the squirrels are finally mad.

And on that note, have a wonderful weekend. Holy crap, am I glad I survived my way through Friday!