The Sculpting Stick Diet

Tuesday evenings aren't usually the ones that you would expect to be crazy and funny, but tonight's sure was. A few of us went out to O'Charley's for a farewell-to-Blacksburg dinner for Otey, which was fun in and of itself. The rest of the evening from that point on totally counteracted the terrible commute home I had today, when it seemed that every stupid driver on the road had come out at the precise moment I was trying to get back from work. But I'm not going to dwell on that, because many things were pretty cool and hilarious from tonight.

The first thing was Gina's comment when she dropped her knife at the restaurant: "Now, a gay person is going to come visit in the morning." Apparently, this is some wives' tale that she heard, but I'm convinced she was just making it up (more than likely, anyway, despite some evidence to the contrary).

The other big highlight of the night was our discovery of the Firm Sculpting Stick at Walgreen's. It's marketed as some sort of exercise equipment, but it was stocked on Walgreen's shelves just underneath the Donut Express. Coincidence? Hardly. Otey knew their actual plan: to entice you to buy both items, then use the Firm Sculpting Stick for its actual purpose of having someone beat you with it every time you went for some donuts. Eventually, you'd get a conditioned response of pain every time you even saw a donut. There's your diet right there. It might be a bit violent, but I guess it's just another sign of our weird, wild times.